11 months of waiting… and then it was finally here

Finally, the day had arrived. The day I had been waiting for for eleven months. In the days leading up to it, questions kept running through my mind. What would they use from all those hours of footage in the first episode? What would it look like? How would I come across on screen? And most of all… how would it feel to watch it back?

To celebrate the live premiere, I invited my family over. We sat down with a glass of champagne in our hands. It felt festive, but I could also feel that I was more restless than usual, my heart beating faster than normal. And then it was 5:00 PM, and the episode began.

Wow.

The pace, the intensity, how quickly everything was edited together. One moment flowing into the next. I noticed I constantly wanted to explain things, because every fragment carried so many memories for me. At the same time, I was completely pulled into it. When the forty minutes were over, I genuinely needed a moment to breathe.

Later that evening, a few friends came over to watch it again. And that is when something strange happened. After about ten minutes, I suddenly thought: wait… I have not seen this before. It honestly felt like I was watching a completely different episode. Apparently my brain had simply not registered the beginning the first time, most likely because of the tension.

It was special to finally be able to speak freely about what was happening behind the scenes. I paused the episode several times to share little anecdotes, details you do not see on screen, thoughts that were running through my head while the cameras were rolling.

Let’s go back to March 2025.

The days before filming began were intense. Bianca and I had flown to Sarasota earlier so we could adjust calmly. But instead of settling in, all the built up stress came out at once. My body quite literally signaled that it had been too much. Eye infections, my stomach completely out of balance, extreme fatigue and heavy headaches. I felt vulnerable at a moment when I wanted to feel strong. Everything I had worked toward for so long suddenly seemed fragile.

And yet, I had to show up on that first filming day.

On the morning of the first challenge, something felt more stable. Almost as if my body decided to cooperate. What you do not see in the episode is that the start took much longer than planned. We all had to take multiple thumbnail photos. Waiting. Again. And during that time, my nerves kept building. I started doubting the choices I had made for my subjects. Were they strong enough? Strategic enough? I honestly do not know how many times I went to the bathroom.

But once we were finally allowed to begin, something shifted.

I was completely in my own bubble. It felt fast, intuitive, focused. For an entire hour, nothing existed but that sketch. When Jake started counting down and we had to stop, I stepped back and felt relief. I was satisfied with what I had created. At the same time, my head felt like it might explode from all the tension I had been holding. But the first hurdle was behind me.

And then came the plot twist.

During the short lunch break, we were told everything was changing. We would restart in ten minutes, but instead of continuing with mixed media, where you are free to use any materials, we were given one hour to paint an animal using only acrylic paint. No preparation time. No time to rethink a strategy.

I remember thinking: okay… help.
And then: breathe in, breathe out, bring it on.

To my own surprise, I stayed relatively calm. Not because I had everything under control, but because I knew panic would not serve me. I decided to stick with my original design, even though I was not completely in love with it. Changing everything at that point felt riskier than trusting what I already had.

Sixty minutes for a complete painting is short. I created a diluted background wash, ran outside into the burning Florida sun to help it dry faster, used a hairdryer, quickly sketched and refined as much as I could. It was a sprint. When time was up and I turned around, I was honestly quite satisfied. Looking around, I could see how differently everyone reacted to the change. Some had created something incredible. Others were visibly thrown off by the sudden switch.

On the way home, I realized: this was only day one. What a beginning.

That evening was all about planning for day two. Would the underpainting of the peacock be dry enough? How could I divide my time so that on the final day I would only need to add highlights? For the drawing challenge, I had to choose between an alligator or a crocodile, and I genuinely wondered whether they would disapprove if I accidentally chose the wrong one. I am not very familiar with these animals, so what is even the actual difference? Do I go for a close up or the full body? What is strategically smarter?

From that moment on, my mind was running nonstop. It truly felt like the game had begun. Not only technically, but mentally.

And now, watching it back safely at home on my couch with a glass of champagne in my hand, still feels surreal. You see forty minutes of television. But there was so much more behind it.

Next week, I will take you into what day two and three really felt like. Because believe me, the pressure only increased.

Love,

Ellis