The final challenges before the moment where 6 out of 12 artists would be eliminated.
After the low score on my cityscape, my mind would not settle. I kept searching for a reason. Was it my color choices, my technique, the composition? I could not quite put my finger on it. But what I did feel was how much it affected me. More than I expected. That familiar feeling of not being good enough suddenly came very close again. An old feeling, somewhere from the past, showing up without warning.
That night, I barely slept. My mind kept going, thoughts repeating themselves, and with that, the doubt only grew stronger.
The final oil painting challenge was the monster portrait.
Portraits have always been a love-hate relationship for me. Sometimes they flow naturally, as if everything falls into place without much effort. And other times, it feels like I cannot get a grip on them, no matter how many times I start over.
The morning of that challenge started badly. After a restless night, I woke up to two upsetting messages from home, and they hit me harder than I expected. On top of that came the pressure I was putting on myself, because I really wanted to make it into the top 6. All of that combined made me feel mentally overwhelmed just before we even started.
Alexiss noticed and gave me a sour bomb, an extremely sour candy that can momentarily reset your system. As strange as it sounds, it helped a little. But my focus was still all over the place. I placed my first anchor points on the canvas, but the proportions were off. So I started again. And again. And again.
The abstract challenge that followed brought a completely different kind of energy. It felt freer, less restricted. Even though I had never worked with ink in an abstract way like this before, and maybe it was not the ideal moment to experiment, I decided to let go and focus on enjoying the process. That alone gave me some space again.
And then came the moment we had all been working towards for days: the announcement of the top 6.
Looking back, I realize I do not remember much from that moment. The tension took over. I do remember consciously standing close to my friends Bri, Ellie B, and Bianca. That gave me a small sense of support in the middle of all the uncertainty.
As the fourth name, Jake pulled down my apron.
What a relief. What a rush. I made it.
But that relief almost immediately made space for a different realization. There were only two spots left. And three of my friends were still standing there.
When Bri hugged me to congratulate me, I said to her, “I will see you on the other side.” Because I wanted so badly for her to make it through with me.
When Bri and I met in 2022 during an apprenticeship in Georgia, we quickly became close friends. We told each other that if we ever got the chance to join The Outstanding Artist, we would make it to the final together. The fact that we were now both part of season 4 already felt special. But in that moment, it suddenly felt fragile, because it was no longer certain that we would finish this journey side by side.
I could not look at her when Jake was about to announce number six. The tension was too high, and my emotions were right at the surface. I could read the tension on everyone’s faces and knew I would break if I looked someone in the eyes.
Every single artist had given everything. Left home, opened themselves up, pushed through challenges. Everyone deserved to continue.
But there was only room for one more.
Who will be number six?
The episode ended with to be continued…
And unfortunately, that answer will take a little while longer.
The coming episodes will focus on the seven artists whose fate is still unknown. Only on May 11 will we continue with the new challenges for the top 6.